SURVIVING HOLIDAY STRESS
We all know that sometimes the holidays can get a little out of hand. Sometimes we get a little over-zealous about the number of events we rsvp to, or the number of presents we feel pressured to buy for friends and family (or perhaps yourself on Black Friday!). The holidays should be a time for connecting with the ones we love and reflecting on the positive memories of the past, but sometimes they can also be a tad anxiety-provoking.
See below to gain a few tips for staying calm and cool during this hectic time!
Holiday Survival Coping Toolbox
Perform a self-inventory. If you catch yourself becoming overwhelmed, pause for a brief moment and name your feeling. Are you angry, stressed, sad, anxious, tired, burned out, frazzled? Label it! Next, try to figure out where it is coming from, aka the “trigger.” Understanding what influences our experience of a specific emotion is helpful in discovering how to navigate it. Can you avoid that trigger somehow? Or can you reframe your thoughts to prevent it from sweeping you off your feet and into its emotional winds so quickly? Maybe you could plan to leave a bit earlier so you’re not angry and stressed driving, or you could remind yourself to be grateful you are blessed with a car to get around in when you’re irritated with traffic. At least you’re not walking!
Do some self care. Self care is a buzzword these days, but do you really know what it means for you? It may not be wise self care to go on a shopping spree or eat 5 cookies. Self care can be simple and healthy. This can look like stepping outside for a breath of fresh air, adding a 10-15 minute walk into your day, sitting down and playing an instrument or listening to music for a few minutes, having a cup of tea, blocking off 15 minutes of pleasure reading time, drinking enough water to stay hydrated, eating food that nourishes your body, or setting aside a full hour for your bedtime routine and paying attention as you shower, get your body prepared for bed, and reflect on your day slowly. Self care may also look like pausing to squeeze in a space just to go to the bathroom in your crazy day. Self care starts with the simple tasks of listening to and caring for your body such as brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, cleaning your body, eating healthy foods, drinking water, getting 6-8 hours of sleep a night, and moving when possible. You’d be surprised (or maybe you wouldn’t!) how often adults forget to do these simple tasks or put them on the back burner. Try to find one thing you can add in when you catch yourself stressing.
Reality test. Is it really THAT important that Johnny gets the iphone XR he is begging you for? Or that the bedroom decorations are set up to match the theme of the rest of the house perfectly for when your mother-in law spends the night? What about the dinner menu? Will I have enough of all the right foods that satisfy everyone’s desires and dietary needs? Is it the end all, be all??!! Maybe it is. Or maybe it’s not. It’s always good to ask yourself “What is the absolute worst thing that could happen?”. If you (and your family and guests) will still be alive at the end of it, with no serious bodily injury or illness, then maybe it’s not quite as big of a deal as you are making it out to be. Sometimes you can spend so much time obsessing over perfecting the end result that you completely miss out on the process. The holidays are a time where it is more important than ever to be present-focused, and yet we typically glaze right past the present during the hustle and bustle. It’s also helpful to compare your situation to that of others. Whenever you feel like you’ve hit rock bottom, odds are that most likely there is still someone out there that has it worse than you. Try to find 5 things to list off in your head that you are grateful for, right then and there.
Relax. You have to find out what works here for you. Everyone is different. Relaxation techniques can include deep breathing skills, positive self talk, meditation, or grounding/mindfulness exercises, just to name a few. Choose one and practice it regularly. Mindfulness is a lifestyle, just like fitness. If you’re in the middle of a family blowup and try for the first time to do that awesome coping skill you discussed in your last therapy session, it probably won’t work! The brain behaves like a muscle. It improves performance with regular training. Practice deep breathing, positive self affirmations, meditating, or mindfulness activities (such as eating with all 5 senses or walking and using all 5 senses) for at least a minute or more every day. This will eventually lead towards an improved ability to slow down your reactivity in moments of stress and be able to detach from the stress hurricane when things get tough.
Reach out for support. At times the holidays are rough because there is brokenness in your family or other close relationships. You may have lost a loved one or ended a long-term relationship. This pain can be amplified during the holidays as others are connecting with their loved ones. Seek out the family member or friend you trust and can count on most. Try to find time to connect, whether virtually or in person. If you sense yourself feeling alone and unhappy about that, take the initiative to reach out to someone to connect or call the crisis line (844-493-TALK) if you’re really struggling and feeling trapped. You don’t have to be suicidal to call for help, and many people call in for support during the holidays if they find themselves hitting a low. You are not alone.
I hope you all have a wonderful holiday season filled with mindful moments of joy and love. Please comment below with any thoughts you have about these tips or a different stress-busting strategy you use!
December 5, 2018
